Thursday, 11 February 2016

Not Every Goodbye is Bad.

One of the greatest lessons I've ever had to learn is that of love.

Growing up, I've always thought that love was just something that happened, that you didn't choose it and that it just came up in random places with the most unexpected people. I later learned that there was that type of love: the one that just swept you off your feet resisting any sort of battle against it, and that there was also the type of love that you had to choose.

It has been said countless times that if any sort of relationship hurts, it is not love, and I agree with that. I think the root of most toxic bonds is located in mistaking toxicity for sacrifice and labour. Just because you sacrifice for someone for any duration of time, it doesn't mean that your sacrifice will always be free of happiness. Sacrifice is supposed to entail happiness and love, or else, we would not sacrifice at all. That is not to say that we sacrifice to receive love and happiness, but that our sacrifices are what give us love and happiness, no matter how painful it tends to be for us.

But in this lesson of love, I've also learned that we are not meant to keep everyone we love in our lives. Sometimes our loved ones leave us for their own reasons, sometimes their mission has been fulfilled on Earth, sometimes we just lose touch, and sometimes we are just meant to end things with them because it is the best choice for us to make.

I don't think that ending relationships of any kind ever means that we love that person any less (unless that was the cause for the end). I think that sometimes, when we're called to let go, we're in a sense loving that person all the more.

Goodbyes I believe are meant to be GOOD, I mean, why else would you have the "good" in the "goodbye"? But the reasons for a goodbye's goodness can be different at times.

Sometimes a goodbye is good because we're meant to see one another again. Sometimes a goodbye is good because we're not meant to see each other again. Sometimes a goodbye is unpredictable, and not knowing everything has a lot of great things about it.

But the point is, after a goodbye, we all go through our "degrees of separation", but we're meant to meet something or someone along the way.

I guess we're just all still searching for our sense of longing to be silenced when goodbyes end it all, and I understand that completely.